The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

Quote is from George F. Will

I suspect that the residents of the town of Keizer in Oregon are actually secretly trying to get free advertising for Pfizer... you will understand when you visit this link.

Apparently, piercings are the proposed answer...

Now all they need is to stage a commercial with old people dancing amongst the pillars, and their sales will be sure to ... ahem... rise.

-The Krunchy Krab