A few excerpts from my local town police blotter

I thought these deserved a second look.

Saturday, Dec. 9

•A citizen reported a drunken driver, but when officers contacted the driver he was not drunk, he was just not a very good driver.

Wednesday, Dec. 13

• Officers responded to a report of subjects arguing and a possible assault in the 1200 block of Fourth St. Police discovered an intoxicated man trying to sing karaoke. They determined no assault occurred, but the subject’s girlfriend complained of some very poor singing.

Friday, Dec. 15

• Found property turned in to the Anacortes Police Department this week includes two bicycles, two wallets, one purse, one pair of glasses, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Ok, so I added something to that last one, but it really needed to be there.

it's been awhile

What word is pronounced the same after you've taken away 4 of its letters?

God will find a way...

My wife and I were sitting around this evening after our daughter had gone to bed, wishing we could get her up to play with her some more. Of course, we would only regret that decision in the morning, so we restrained ourselves.

About thirty minutes later, we got our wish - although things probably would have worked out better if we had just gone and gotten her up when we wanted to.

When we heard her crying we went in to investigate. At some point between 6:30 and 9:30, she had emptied her sippy cup - presumably into her stomach. Though it put up a valiant fight, in the end Pampers was not equipped to do battle against the overwhelming urinary volumes it was facing.

So, in the end, we now have fresh sheets and pajamas, we got to spend some extra time with our daughter, and now we are left to the large chocolate pie in the refrigerator.

-The Krunchy Krab